This is about me and may be about you, somewhat.
Years ago I can categorically tell you I was one soul totally taken over by anger, so many things about my life especially relationships were jeopardised both at work and at home, in fact it was me against the world.
A day came and I took a decision to tell my self the truth just like Socrates advised and to give myself a chance( like John c. Maxwell admonished) for a change and improvement.
This is a story to prove I have truly given myself a chance because I told myself the truth and I know all of us can.
I recently got myself a help after several months of performing house chores, caring for my four(4) children,coping with my tedious bank job and most of all performing my ultimate domestic obligation all alone except for the days my lovely husband would make breakfast for the kids because they (the kids) would prefer the kind of breakfast he makes available to them. In high spirit and expectation Chinyere (my new help) arrived my home though not educated and enlightened as I may want her, I judged and appraised her based on my own level of education, exposure and understanding even though from all ramifications it is not tenable except by training but this I did not do from onset.
There was hardly a chore Chinyere would perform without flaws and so for every instruction I leave her with, I expected her not to do it right and so was ready with my tongue lashing. I started to feel it was a calculated move by her to make me unhappy in my home. I decided to change my strategy by always putting it in the front burner the fact that I must get value for my money, her salary and yet no change came. All the blame went to her and I never saw any reason to look inwards.
There should always be a time for soul searching, a time for appraisal, that I finally tested and it paid off almost immediately. I went back to ask myself why nothing is working out and I also remember one of my bosses telling me that it’s only a mad man that will keep repeating a strategy and expect a different result, I needed to apply something different and that strategy was “reflective thinking” as stipulated by John c . Maxwell in his book “thinking for a change”
It hit me that I have not fulfilled my part of the contract but expected the other party to do hers, what a shame and where is the place of empathy?
After my soul search, I called Chinyere in and we had a fruitful discussion and training. I communicated her importance and essence in my home, to me and my children and she demanded to know how. I continued by telling her she is a critical part of my life and that my job won’t be smooth if I don’t have her at home to take off me some of the responsibilities she takes care of, such as receiving my children when they get back from school in the afternoon. She grinned and I knew from that look she felt good and important and wanted to live up to expectation. Since then, she has continued to improve as the days go by and I have not failed to acknowledge when she does things right but reprove her in love when necessary. Now she knows she is part of my family and life and she treats me as one( though not always) but I do my part by always looking out for the sweet part of her rather than setting out for the faults.
In essence, let’s stop passing the blame, looking inwards may just be the solution, play your part first, empathise, show some love,a little pat on the back ain’t gonna hurt no body, be a little kinder and the expected result we will get.
Dare to be a better person, dare to dream against all odds.
Check the man in the mirror,
I have passion for victory and I am convinced a great number of people who yearn for positive change, must some how have passion for something.
What is passion to you? I would say it is that which you love to represent and defend by all means legitimate and at all cost. It is that strong desire to accomplish something or to get something done.
If you are a fan of this blog, you would have noticed a regular reference to my daughters(I have them all four) and one strong passion I have bubbling in me is to show the world that there is everything good and definitely nothing wrong with or in having daughters or being one by the way and to direct us all towards exploring the potentials associated with femininity.
My passion is to encourage the daughters of Africa and the world at large to dare and to dream in everything that has virtue embedded in it and explore where they are called weak.
It is that passion that has given birth to this blog and much more, including the journey in other forms through which girl child in all cadres can be empowered to change the world.
Passion is the visa that admits you into the territory where your destiny is and the drive takes you right to the spot where your destiny is situate.
It is definitely ok to be passionate about something not anything,if you are about the latter then your name must be “Jack”.
Beware of what you are passionate about, it better be worth your while because it will surely take your time,attention,focus and much more until success is recorded.
After success is attained, the drive is increased because inside of the success/ successes are born new passions that are in all parameters related to the original passion but will ensure that greater grounds are covered.
In pursuit of your passion leave no stone unturned, tackle all challenges and as you overcome each of those challenges, you’ll draw more strength from your victories and all that combined announces you anyway.
Do not ignore your passion it is only in it you will truly find fulfilment,true success and real victory on every side.
Remember, you will only achieve if you only follow through and through to your passion.
Dare to dream against all odds
I am excited coming your way again this week. I’ve never been taught by an eight(8) year old(not that I can remember) but last Saturday being the 9th of March 2012 my 1st daughter Oyinda did.
I was prompted to ask her the difference between a dream and a goal and she used the word reflection to describe a dream and reality for goal and that got me thinking big time .
In my thoughts,I came to the subtle findings or conclusion that there must have been a careful reflection of a situation,position,concern,environment or whatever before a dream is born.
Then I told myself, there you go. If you do not have any dream it is almost sure you have not reflected, searched, scrutinised , questioned nor deliberated on the status quo. You have literarily not combed through your environment to come up with a solution to a problem, a dream and eventually a goal.
I remember how I realised my dream and my destiny, it was through constant reflection on my supposed situation and at the back of my mind the quest to make it good because I have this constant thought as my bible told me that all things are possible( and I add both good and evil and I choose the good)
I was tired of people telling me I needed a son or sons, I was tired of the culture dictating the number of children I should have, I was tired of my society not according female children their rightful place,I reflected on all these and much more and I knew I needed to make a difference to uphold and promote womanhood without trampling on manhood in anyway because come what may we need each other.
Reflection to the best of my knowledge is a means of appraisal and you know, what gets measured gets done.
In the reflecting comes your dream and in the measuring comes your goal and fulfilment.
Till next time keep reflecting against all odds.
Dare to dream,
Malala is a name I would love to give my daughter para venture I have another one.
I say that because I am a mother of four(4) daughters but just like Malala’s society(Pakistan),girls are not enough, sons are better or acceptable to them for to their shallow understanding it gives fulfilment.
Hmmmmmm! But Malala dared to dream and her dream gave her a voice and a podium to showcase even in the midst of her enemy’s quest to shut her up.
You can only draw nearer to destiny if you only make the efforts to step out of the box and out of your comfort zone, if only you could live your dream, if only you could change the world from your little corner.
Malala dared to dream and like Joseph (in the bible) despite oppositions that she faced from the Talibans, the end is nothing short from victory.
If she never dared nor tried, she never would have been a Nobel Peace prize nominee.
Keep dreaming,keep trying that way we can bring about the change that we desire in our world and then can you truly say you have fought a good fight.
Thank you for keeping up with me and remember, dare to dream against all odds.
Always & all-ways,