Dare to Dream

Nationsplendour International blog


If I Were A Boy

I’ve got responses that my blog is feminine, yes because i am female but those responses has taken me to a position where i have started to think as well as ask myself this question, if I where a boy what is it that I will do for my female counterpart to rid the environment of unnecessary acts, attitudes and exhibitions against them.
I’ll like to tell a story especially on personal experiences that the society unknowingly or should I say by default show forth, some sort of subtle cruelty against women.
It was the last Saturday in February and my estate(the community where I reside)were having their monthly meeting to discuss on ways to make our community better, I wasn’t there because it is usually a men’s affair and you will find one or two women in their midst. I am sure most people will look at the women who join the estate meeting as practically irresponsible as we are usually expected to take care of the home front on such days. However, the venue of the meeting is the entrance gate to my estate and my house happens to be the first house right by the estate gate and so every move and discussion, I happen to see and hear unsolicited.
A lady and a resident in my estate had come to lay a complaint to the officials of the residence association that morning concerning a security personnel who accosted and insulted her on her way back home within the week and in self defence she had slapped him. With keen interest I listened attentively to see how wisely he was gonna deal with the situation. Guess what? He started by making this statement “how can a woman of all people slap a security personnel, a woman what an insult”. The woman Missed it no doubt but his( the president of the association) response was definitely uncalled for, it was derogatory to woman hood as minute and minor as you may think that statement is. When expanded or should I say, if you listen to the unsaid words you can hear him saying I don’t care what the security personnel did but so far a woman is involved, then the woman is wrong from all angles and must be blamed. Excuse me!
There are so many more instances down here in Nigeria  where women are attributed to so many negative things like the following:
If it is a poor driving, then it must be a female driver.  
If a female banker, then she is wayward.
The bad boss must be female boss, excuse me!
If no kids in a marriage, must be the woman’s fault.
Men are not taking care of their families(extended),the woman is behind it.
Oh! A man’s business ain’t working, she must have bewitched him.
Your kids are not on the right track, her fault.
From all these, I think she, being the neck of the home, must be carrying too much and if I where a boy, I would like to make the burden a little lighter as much as I could by loving her a little bit more and maybe taking responsibility where it is mine reminding myself always of the obvious fact that the neck carries the head and if the neck be burdened to it’s breakage, the head is definitely going down with it.
Remember, every boy has got a woman in his life be it mother, sister, Aunty, niece, wife and every other woman you meet in or out of your way means same to someone. Those who live in a glass house don’t throw stones and in this case, we all live in one.

Don’t get me wrong, I love them both male or female and I have them both and we all do. A little more love ain’t gonna hurt. Christ showed us some love extraordinaire, we can too.

Dare to dream and love against all odds,
Ngozi Alao

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One Response to If I Were A Boy

  1. kalu udeh says:

    Another banger of a truth…I couldn’t help but laugh n acknowledge this bitter truth because being a man (boy) I have perpetrated some of the mentioned acts either out of ignorance or pride. But it’s good we r talking about it so we all can learn, improve n be better. Thanks n God bless us all.

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